Sharing is (S)caring…

I’m reblogging this oldie but goodie for a mom with whom I was discussing sharing. Hope you enjoy it too!

"A Beautiful Place of the World"

It’s a little bit of a shame that we all have to parent on parade. It has its good sides, I know, but more often than not, the visibility of our children, our interactions with them, and their interactions with others means we are parenting to the audience as much as to our children. Yes, this does keep some parents from publicly beating their kids, but it also keeps the rest of us on edge, with one eye skewed for how the crowd is reading our performances.

This ends up creating scenarios that are painful and unnecessary for both parents and children. We work harder to control behaviors that are normal and not really that big of an issue (but possibly momentarily annoying to other adults nearby); we are more apt to respond with lightning speed harshness to minor infractions; we are more likely to badger our “normally very polite”…

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About Nathan M McTague, CPCC, CPDPE

I am a full-time parent of three, Writer, Life Coach, Lecturer, Parenting Mentor, and Shamanic Practitioner. In all of the above, I am seeking to assist my fellow humans in their processes of claiming and unleashing their highest potentials.
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3 Responses to Sharing is (S)caring…

  1. jo johnson says:

    great post, nathan; thank you. it’s fascinating and terrifying in equal measure to me how much i play to the crowd when i’m in public with my 3 (noisy, boisterous, full-of-life) boys. i notice how i feel dirty, somehow, when i slight them in a subtle way in order to appease random strangers (like rolling my eyes in complicity with someone who says “you’ve got your hands full!” – which happens a lot.). and how free i feel, conversely, when i stand up for my boys’ freedom to be themselves. which to me means trusting in their essential goodness; that just because they’re squabbling on the bus doesn’t mean i have to slip into mamatyrant in fear of what others think of me. i have travelled far enough down the path of non-socially-sanctioned parenting to have experienced many times of feeling disapproved of by “the audience”… but it’s very, very hard when it comes to “behaviour issues”. a practice, i guess.

    btw – i’m having a website built for my yoga teaching, inc blog and stuff. are you and natalie ok with me linking to you guys? i love your work and as i work with new parents, i’d love to spread the word and show people there is a thriving community of “alternative” parenting.

    • Hey Jo!

      Thanks for joining in the discussion. Love this bit — “how free i feel, conversely, when i stand up for my boys’ freedom to be themselves”. Totally.

      And yes feel free to link to us. That’s great. The more the merrier.

      Also, I don’t know if you’re on Facebook or not, but Natalie and I have started a new group called The Empathy Hotline. I wanted to invite you to check it out. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theemapthyhotline/

      Good to hear from you!

  2. Pingback: Playing to Your Audience | "A Beautiful Place of the World"

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