I don’t believe I am writing this — it all seems too weird, too mind-boggling, too heart-poundingly absurd… I took my two eldest daughters to their first rock show last Saturday night. Not their “first ever“, but the first one where they wanted to see the band more than me. It was their first rock show. What’s more, they were going to see a band composed entirely of their own peers.
No, it’s not The Twilight Zone. I haven’t been Rip Van Winkled out of several years or decades(!). We’ve just — well, crossed over…
Intooo — what exactly?
I don’t know, and might actually be too deep in denial to admit, even to myself, but suddenly, and almost by accident, I caught wind of the fact that my children are growing up. Even the youngest one, you know, “the baaby” — well, she’s doing long division while her sisters put eye shadow and lipstick on her teeny face. And even though I have been dragging my heels, and insisting that they pace themselves, they have continued unabated, mocking me with the speed of their growth. I almost can’t take it.
And at the same time — there I was with my kids (2/3 of them, anyway) rocking out to a duo of rockers who were actually my eldest kid’s age! I know it’s unusual for a 10 year old to be into a band of other ten year olds (let alone to be a 10 year old in a band of 10 year olds), so I am within my parenting rights to feel a bit awkward (I looked it up in the parenting bill of rights — a long document with very little to say or authority to enforce itself). Nevertheless, in addition to the awkwardness is all this joy. Yes, I know, I said (up there) that I am freaking out, and I am on the one hand. On the other hand, though, I am having a wonderful time watching Xi and Bella rock out, and wax groupie over their star crush, and plan similar escapades of their own.
The next day they were making up their own band names.
So, yes, I am freaking out. It’s all happening too fast and I can’t stand the thought of these little hatchlings growing up and leaving the nest. And almost simultaneously, I am having the time of my life at each new level of their growth, and development, and interest. I am so glad that because we are focused on nurturing it, we’ve had the opportunity to enjoy our relationship as it grows and develops, too. And when I remember to breathe, it becomes a real pleasure to watch them leap around, flapping and strengthening their wings.
I also need to remember to mention “the hatchlings” to them as a potential band name.